Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.W.C. Fields

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.-unknown

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henry Youngman

The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely. Ted Williams

Lots of people committed crimes during the year who would not have done so if they had been fishing. The increase of crime is among those deprived of the regenerations that impregnate the mind and character of the fisherman. Herbert Hoover

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart. Buddy Hackett

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald Ford

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron

The more I practice, the luckier I get. Gary Player

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx