“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?” Albert Einstein

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception.I asked this girl to sleep with me dad she said "no." Woody Allen

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Redd Foxx

I never set out to be weird. It was always the other people who called me weird. Frank Zappa

“Someone just said that I’m adopting four blonde babies. That’s retarded. No, I’m not.” Paris Hilton

If something is hard, then it is probably not worth doing. Homer Simpson

"I don't believe in mathematics." Albert Einstein

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.
Yogi Berra