Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent. Kevin Bacon

Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home. Phyllis Diller

Have no fear of perfection- you'll never reach it. Salvador Dali

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.Bill Maher

Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." John Lennon

"I'm not against half-naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be..." Benny Hill

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. - Wayne Gretzky

"Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea" Jessica Simpson

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" Christina Aguilera